Well this movie happened. That’s the nicest thing you can say about it

Based on a series of books written by Duncan Falconer (a former British Navy Commando whose novels are based partly on his experiences in the navy, essentially a crack team on par with M16 only based on naval vessels). After his last mission goes wrong which resulted in his partner dying, Stratton (Dominic Cooper) is determined to bring down a Russian terrorist who has stolen biological weaponry and Stratton needs to stop him from unleashing said weapons on London. Unfortunately, someone on the team is a double agent, feeding information to the enemy, that Stratton needs to track down (a mystery as complex and challenging to figure out as an average Scooby Doo episode. It’s exactly who you think it is).

It’s an oddly paced movie with a numbers of expectant scenes either missing or misused; for one thing, it’s strange that the naval based group, besides the opening scene where John Stratton (Dominic Cooper) and his ragtag motley crew swimming through an abandoned Iraqi lab, they somehow manage to avoid water based hijinx. In fact, for a thriller, Stratton is particularly short on actual thrills. About 70% of the movie is exposition or talking among the characters; the other 30% is made up of bland, not all that memorable action sequences that wouldn’t be out of place in an average episode of The Black List. Dominic Cooper does what he can, but Stratton is as one dimensional and complex as an action man doll

But still, at least he’s trying which can’t be said for Connie Nielsen, whose role as the Judi Dench type MI6 boss is a calamity the second she speaks, in the worse British accent you’ll be ever likely to hear. The movie is almost worth watching to hear her mangle her sentences

It’s almost an impressive feat to have a worst start to a franchise than The Mummy but, Stratton somehow achieves it. A disaster from beginning to end. Let’s just say there’s a reason why Henry Cavil got out of this movie as fast as he could.

Stratton is on general release now


Movie enthusiastic. Social Outcast. Lord of procrastination